Pride
by OwlBeWritingYouFrequently
Summary: Neither one will admit to what clearly exists. Howl/Sophie takes place after the end of the book (you don't need to read the book to understand what's going on though)
1. Pride

**Author's note: I spent the entire day working on this when I should have been writing a lab report. Oh well. Anyway this is based off of the book, and I've set it 3 months after the book's end. It's not really spoilers for the book. In all honesty you could see it as a continuation of the movie even just with everyone's book personalities plus Martha exists...? Well it's up to you. I mean I would love for you to read it but if the book aspects don't make sense oh well.**

**But I digress. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Howl's Moving Castle or any of its characters**

Heavy, Calcifer thought. Heavy were the rains that fell across the land of Inagry that day and heavy was the atmosphere that hung around the castle. He sat quietly from the hearth, peeping out over the few logs his flames fizzled on. He watched the people move about the living room in a rush; Michael running back and forth from the magic bench to the table, Howl strolling in and out of the bathroom, and Sophie zipping to and from the shop. The air was heavy with business and responsibility – Michael working on a spell, Sophie running the shop, and Howl, well, doing what he supposed was important. And yet something else lingered in the room that added to the heaviness. Calcifer could see it clearly whenever Howl and Sophie crossed paths. The wizard would emerge from the bathroom, fixing his sleeves or adjusting his lapels – generally not paying attention to where he was going – and the young woman would be transferring bouquets of flowers across the room when the two would suddenly find themselves almost bumping into one another. They'd exchange quips ending with Sophie stomping away in a glare and Howl waltzing off with a smirk.

To anyone who didn't know them like Calcifer did, the interaction would seem normal. But the fire demon could sense so much more. It had been three months since Sophie had returned Howl's heart. That day had been filled with promises of change and chance; of "happily ever afters". Even Calcifer was sure things would change. But the days following had been exactly the same as before, only with Sophie as a young woman. There was still much banter – and the occasional full-blown argument – but something folded itself underneath. It was an awkwardness; a thick and strange tension. And it had only grown stronger as the days went by to where it was nearly palpable.

Calcifer sighed and let a few exasperated sparks crackle into the air, annoyed by the lack of clear communication. Michael, who had returned to the table where an array of herbs and powders were laid about, looked up at the sound. He quirked an eyebrow. Calcifer rose up from the logs.

"Dogwood," he said. "You want dogwood powder, not essence of marlberry." He poked a fiery tendril at a bottle containing a pinkish liquid.

"Oh," Michael grunted. "Thanks." He picked up the bottle and went back to the magic bench to rummage around for the blue-gray powder. In all honesty, Calcifer had only said that to fix his mistake of making Michael think there was anything wrong. In the case of the spell both the dogwood and marlberry held the same properties and could be used interchangeably, but Michael needn't know that. The boy hurried back to the table, a different bottle in hand, and set it amongst the other ingredients. He opened up a packet and dumped its contents into a bowl. Howl once again appeared from the bathroom and approached the boy. He ran his eyes over the table.

"You're still working on that spell?" he asked. Michael stopped what he was doing and looked up at the man.

"Of course. You told me to finish it by this afternoon." Howl rolled his eyes.

"Why? I don't need it anymore," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. Calcifer had to mimic the eye roll and Michael let out a groan. Howl turned and headed for the shop, intending to get the mail. Michael gathered up the ingredients and put them back in their proper places on the magic bench. Sophie walked in from the yard carrying a vase of peach-colored roses.

"If you're done with that spell you can come help me in the shop," she huffed, seeing Michael putting things away. Again he groaned and slumped his shoulders.

"But I promised I'd go see Martha when I finished," he whined. Had she not been holding the vase she would have put her hands on her hips to accompany the glare she gave the boy. But she realized that if she made him stay he would only pout and complain the whole day; it was better for her sake that she let him leave.

"Oh, alright. Go then," she grumbled. Michael's face lit up as he bolted for the door.

"Thanks, Sophie!" he called after. She rolled her eyes and, without realizing it, walked straight into Howl. The sudden jolt caused Sophie to drop the vase – which shattered upon impact with the floor – and Howl to lose grip of the letters he'd been reading. Both cried out in surprise. Calcifer stifled a laugh. Howl looked down at his soaked feet in horror.

"Now look what you've done!" he cried. Sophie shot him a dirty look and bent down to separate the pieces of the vase, flowers, and soggy mail.

"Me? How is this my fault?" she spat. Howl ignored her comment and waved his hand for a drying spell. With a small whoosh his feet were dry. His focus went to the wet envelopes at his feet. He too squatted down.

"My goodness, Sophie. I was hoping you'd become less of a klutz in your younger age," he complained, gingerly picking up an envelope by the corner. Sophie glowered at the wizard and threw the wet letter she was holding at him. It hit him in the shoulder and made him look up, dropping the wet paper he was holding with a squelch. Sophie only scowled more as she took in his appalled expression. He looked as if someone had just insulted his mother.

"I was hoping you'd become less rude, too," Howl scoffed. At that, Sophie picked up another sopping letter and threw it at him. He dodged it and in retaliation picked up one of the roses and threw it. She gasped as it flew past her face. She leaned forward to grab another letter as Howl leaned forward to grab another rose. Their foreheads smacked together and both recoiled. Howl brought a hand up to his head, rubbing the spot lightly. He looked at Sophie, who was on all fours shaking the pain from her head. She looked up and Howl couldn't help but laugh at the bright red mark on her forehead. At first she glared, but seeing the mark on his own face caused her to join in. Calcifer watched carefully from the hearth. The tension that was usually strung up between them had dissipated temporarily. How long it would stay that way, he didn't know

When the laughing subsided they sat silent, staring at each other. Howl noted how beautifully brown Sophie's eyes were and felt the tiny stirrings of nostalgia in his chest. How long had it been since he'd really looked into her eyes, he wondered. His eyes wandered over her face – truly, she was lovely – and he wondered why he had never told her so. Sophie followed the movement of his eyes. So peacefully blue, they were. And soon her eyes, too, wandered over his features. She'd always found him handsome, but realized she'd never been really able to appreciate it. She felt herself leaning in toward him, as he was doing to her. His eyes cast down upon her slightly parted lips and – for not the first time – wondered at their taste. But when their noses touched, reality kicked back in. Sophie's face flushed and she gave an uncharacteristic _eep_, falling back onto her bottom. Embarrassment shown through Howl's eyes but he dare not betray his expression. He shot up and waved his hand. The vase pieced itself back together and each flower put itself back inside. The mail – now dry – leapt into his waiting hands. With that he flew up the stairs and to his room, leaving Sophie red-faced on the floor. She sat still for only a moment – ashamed, no doubt – then quickly hardened her expression and stood up. She picked up the vase and disappeared into the shop. Calcifer cursed under his breath, letting more blue sparks float up and pop. This was getting ridiculous.

Howl shut the door behind him. He tossed the mail on the little side table by the door and sat himself down on his bed. Something fluttered in chest. His heart, he supposed, but the sensation still felt new nonetheless. He had felt it before around Sophie, and deep down he felt he knew what it was. But he was Horrible Howl, the great and powerful wizard. It was beneath him to admit any such thing. And besides, he was much too prideful to confess that he perhaps cared more for this girl than he liked to let on. He heaved a sigh and rubbed his eyes. How he wanted to take a bath, but to venture downstairs meant he might run into Sophie.

"Damnation," he mumbled pathetically. But for now he'd settle for wallowing in his own dirt and shame.

Down in the flower shop, Sophie arranged a few vases of flowers on a shelf. She, too, felt her heart flutter at the thought of the wizard but tried to push the feelings down to where she could not find them. She had her pride to maintain; she couldn't be falling over herself for some vain and childish man. Yet thoughts of him still lingered in her mind. She had been the one to break Howl and Calcifer's contract – so she thought – and it had seemed like things would be different. But they weren't. Howl had continued on as if none of that had ever happened. If anything were to happen, she would most certainly not be the first to initiate it. Thankfully, the bell on the shop door rang and Sophie's attention turned toward the customers. She would allow her indignity to consume her at a later time.

* * *

><p>Sophie tossed and turned, though try as she might she could not fall asleep. She sat up in bed, frustrated with her restlessness. Deciding a chat with Calcifer might ease her mind, she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She stood and exited the small room under the stairs. Calcifer, as usual, crackled quietly in the hearth. She sat down on the couch in front of him and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them close. At the sound of her footsteps his eyes had appeared from behind a log. He rose up higher so to look at her better. He could tell something was troubling her.<p>

"Can't sleep?" he asked. A silly question to ask, he realized, but he wouldn't let on that he knew where their conversation was sure to be headed.

"No," she said quietly, staring at the ashes floating above his flames. He didn't want to press her for explanations, but he gave her a knowing look so as to make her come about it on her own. She caught the expression and sighed.

"I'm so conflicted, Cal," she huffed. Internally he smiled. Finally, he thought, some admittance. Outwardly he expressed inquisitiveness. "You can confirm that I'm technically the one who gave Howl his heart back, correct?" More than technically, Calcifer thought. But nevertheless he gave her a nod.

"So that has to mean something, doesn't it?" She wasn't pleading to him, but there was something in her eyes giving her emotions away. He popped a few more sparks.

"Maybe. But why do you care?" He didn't like being so callous with her, but it was necessary if they were going to make real progress.

"Well, I sort of…" she started, but couldn't quite seem to finish her statement. Calcifer leaned forward out of the hearth. Even in the low light he could see the blush spreading across her cheeks. She looked down.

"What are you trying to say, Sophie?" He desperately wanted to hear her say it aloud, and she was so close, too. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it immediately at the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Calcifer flared up slightly at the sight of Howl. Sophie whipped her head around to look. When she saw it was Howl, she whipped her head right back looking embarrassed. Howl stopped on the bottom step, seeing Sophie sitting on the couch. He cursed himself under his breath. He had come down the stairs hoping to escape thoughts of Sophie only to find her in the flesh. He needed to get out of this.

"Oh, I didn't realize there was a party happening down here," he laughed nervously." Carry on, then." He made to go back up the steps.

"Oh no you don't, you slitherer-outer!" Calcifer shouted, borrowing Sophie's term. He came out of the hearth in a fiery blur and blocked the path up the stairs.

"What the hell, Calcifer?" Howl cried. The ball of flames came closer and singed the edge of his jacket. Howl cried out and put his hands up in defense.

"Sit!" The wizard complied – not wanting any more of his clothing to be burned – and walked over to the couch. By this point Sophie had lowered her legs to the floor and was ready to make an escape back to her bedroom. As Howl sat down next to her and Calcifer returned to the hearth, however, she deduced it was a better idea to sit it out. Calcifer fizzled tall upon the logs, glaring at the both of them.

"This is absolutely ridiculous and it needs to end now," he complained. He didn't feel the need to elaborate further. Howl tried to play it off coolly, taking the victim approach.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I came down here not looking for trouble and you attack me verbally AND ruin my clothes!" He gestured at the barely charred fabric of his jacket. Sophie rolled her eyes, quickly forgetting the reasons she'd come to talk to Calcifer and instantly growing tired of Howl's immature tendencies.

"Oh, don't be such a child. It's barely singed," she snapped. Howl gasped dramatically, a hand going to his chest.

"You're taking _his_ side?" he cried. Sophie crossed her arms and shot him a look. He narrowed his eyes and was about to shoot back when Calcifer cut in.

"Enough!" he shouted. "Howl, you need to tell Sophie how you really feel about her and Sophie, you need to do the same. I'm tired of all this tension around here." Both humans stared at the fire demon incredulously, embarrassed at being called out. "Everyone can see, clear as day, that there's something between the two of you. You're both just too proud to admit it to the other," Calcifer added quickly. Howl knew this to be true and he knew it was time that he finally owned up to it. But he didn't want Calcifer to be the one to boss it out of him. He stood abruptly, hands on his hips.

"I could use some air," he rushed. He looked at Sophie. "Sophie?" She glared at him, switched her gaze to Calcifer, and ultimately decided to go with Howl. She stood and followed Howl to the door. Calcifer looked on, dumbfounded. Howl turned the dial purple side down and opened it onto the moonlit flower fields of the Wastes. They stepped out onto the still wet grass, Howl shutting the door behind them. Sophie walked ahead, crossing her arms against the chill. He caught up to her, looking at the sky. He looked over to Sophie, realizing she was only in a thin nightgown. In a rare moment of chivalry he removed his jacket and placed it over her shoulders. She looked up questioningly, but nevertheless pulled the fabric close around her.

"Thank you," she said, no trace of negativity. Howl gave a playful bow in response. She rolled her eyes and it only made him smile. Sophie focused back on the fields. Howl followed suit. Neither one wanted to be the first to admit to anything, but somebody had to in order for them to return to the castle without Calcifer prying. Howl watched her in his periphery. The wind blew her long tresses about her dainty face in an almost choreographed way. She really was beautiful; the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, in fact. She was spunky and clever and everything he ever could have dreamed of and more. When she had returned his heart, he wanted nothing more than to give it right back. So what had prevented him from doing so? Part of it was his own stupid pride. The other part, he supposed, was fear that she did not reciprocate. But pride and fear be damned, he thought. He swallowed the lump in his throat and attempted to hide any anxiety he felt.

"Sophie." He said her name causally. She looked his way, her expression unreadable. Play it cool, he thought. "Calcifer is right, you know."

"Is he?" she answered nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow. Howl looked at his nails as if to check for dirt.

"For once." He picked at a nail. Sophie turned fully to face him.

"And why is that?" It seemed to her that he was initiating things, but still refusing to be completely clear. She refused to let him slither out only for her to be the one to admit anything first.

"You really should tell me about how you truly feel," he said matter-of-factly. She put her hands on her hips.

"Me?" she hissed. "Feel about what?" Howl crossed his arms casually, trying to redirect everything back at Sophie.

"About me," he said. Sophie narrowed her eyes.

"What feelings would I have about you?" The words came out colder than she'd intended and Howl lost all sense of calmness, arms dropping to his sides. He looked genuinely hurt by the comment and she immediately regretted it. Her face softened.

"Oh, Howl, I didn't mean it like that," she said quieter. She looked down at her feet and spoke slowly, "It's not that I don't…I mean I actually…well…" She fumbled over her words, causing a smile to spread on Howl's face. He liked seeing this soft side of her.

"Are you trying to admit something?" he asked playfully. Sophie's head snapped up, a glare once more claiming her features. He laughed at the little pout of her lips and decided that for once he would let go of his pride, if only a little. If anyone was worth it, she most certainly was. It was time to be bold.

"I'm sorry, Sophie. You're just so stubborn, sometimes, it's endearing," he said directly, looking down at her hands. Sophie's eyes went agape. Honestly she was shocked to hear him be so blunt for once.

"Howl, what–" she started but he cut her off, stepping closer. Her cheeks began to flush.

"You were the one who broke the contract between me and Calcifer. You know that don't you?" Sophie nodded slowly. "To be completely honest, I didn't even want it back that day. It belonged to you then and it still does now, if you'll have it." He wanted to look her in the eyes then but she'd turned her face away, not wanting him to see the small smile sprouting. Howl waited, letting the appreciation be clear in his eyes. After a few moments she composed herself and turned back, staring into his eyes.

"If I had known you were so keen to give it away, I'd have kept it back then and sold it," she stated, allowing the smile to grace her lips again. Howl smiled back at her playful tone. Taking a chance, he reached for one of her hands and, to his surprise, was met halfway. Her hand was warm despite the chill in the air. Together they walked hand in hand back to the castle entrance. At the door they released their hands and Sophie removed the jacket from her shoulders. No more needed to be said; it was clear now where they were headed. Ignoring Calcifer, they went into the castle and retired for the night.

**Well thanks for reading. I kind of had a hard time trying to stay true to the characters as they are in the book so I'd appreciate it if ya'll would let me know how I did. Thanks!**


	2. Epilogue

**Author's note: And of course I had to write an epilogue, so here you go! Enjoy**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Howl's Moving Castle or any of its characters**

The dynamics of the castle over the next few months did not change much. And yet, everyone seemed happier. Calcifer was thankful for the lack of heaviness in the air. The tension between Howl and Sophie had disappeared completely and still, to any stranger, the two seemed to not like each other. Neither Howl nor Sophie disclosed to Calcifer what had been said the night they went out into the Wastes, but he could only assume that they resolved their issues for the best outcome. There was still plenty of banter, though no longer was it awkward. A flirtation device, Calcifer figured. Whatever it was, he was happy that things had worked themselves out.

That morning after breakfast Sophie went out to the Wastes as usual to collect flowers for the shop that day. She opened the door pink side down to the bright fields, basket in hand. She wandered over to a patch of orange chrysanthemums and began collecting the best of the bunch. Minutes later Howl emerged from the castle door. Sophie glanced up when he sat himself in a patch of grass by some white irises. He reached out and plucked one off its stem, twirling it in his fingers. When he didn't say anything, Sophie stopped what she was doing and stared at him, eyebrow quirked.

"And to what do I owe the honor?" she jested. Howl looked up at her impishly.

"Don't look so suspicious, Sophie. It's a beautiful day, is all," he answered lightly. She narrowed her eyes briefly but decided to let it slide. Perhaps he did just come out to appreciate the day. She turned her attention back on the small bush of pink roses she had been picking from.

Howl often found himself gazing at Sophie when she was not looking, and it was no different now. Her red gold hair seemed to shine more gold in the bright sunlight. The color paired nicely with her orange dress. The dress hugged her midsection and flowed out at the hips, the bottom stopping mid-calf. It flattered her. He rested his elbows on his knees, iris still in hand. Some days he still found it odd that he could be thinking these sorts of thoughts. The truth had come out – more or less – months ago but he still found romance and love to be strange sensations. There was no denying that he loved Sophie, but to put it into words and actions were still difficult at times. Sophie shared this sentiment, though she'd never tell him. She, too, loved Howl more than she could say, but romance was foreign to her. They had gotten better with each other, but they had decided to take things slow; let things happen gradually and naturally. The situation worked itself out and neither could be happier.

Sophie felt she had picked enough pink roses and turned to forage through another patch of flowers. Her eyes landed on Howl, who looked very deep in thought. She smiled at the pensive look on his face and the way his hair danced in the wind. Howl caught her staring and laughed. Sophie's expression soured and she turned away quickly.

"What are you _really_ doing out here, Howl?" she called over her shoulder, her focus going to some yellow daisies. Truly, he had come out here with a purpose and figured it was the perfect time to let it play out.

"Why, to propose to you in the most outlandish way I can," he quipped. Sophie let out a staccato laugh.

"A proposal? You?" she mocked. Howl stood up, hands on his hips.

"And what is so unbelievable about that?" he challenged. His tone was still teasing. Sophie kept her eyes on the flowers. Howl approached her slowly while she spoke.

"I wouldn't think the word marriage was a part of your vocabulary," she scoffed. But when Howl's towering presence leaned over her shoulder and held out a ring, she began to believe it was. She gasped lightly and stared at the ring. It was simple – a silver band with three small aquamarine gems lined up – but still very beautiful. Sophie opened her mouth to say something but could find no words to describe what she was feeling. Howl chuckled at her expression and twirled the ring about his fingers.

"Well by the look of things, Ms. Nose, it is," he said smoothly, using the old term. She regained her aloof composure and elbowed him lightly in the stomach. He made a face of annoyance but smiled when Sophie took the ring from him and put it on her finger. She held it up to admire it properly.

"It's very pretty," she concluded.

"It was my mother's," Howl said, satisfied with himself. Sophie was touched, and it only made her appreciate him more. But she was still too proud to allow herself to be so sentimental in front of Howl. Just because she had given in to her feelings for him didn't mean she had to let her guard down all the time; she had to keep him in line.

"Stealing from your mother? Oh, you really _are_ horrible," she chided. With that she began walking back to the castle door, leaving Howl watching after her happily perplexed. He laughed heartily. What a wonderful woman Sophie was, and he could not be happier that his heart belonged to her. He turned around to look out at the Wastes, feeling light. He hadn't heard her footsteps coming back toward him so he jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Sophie came around to his front and stood on her toes, touching her lips to his. Howl savored the gentleness, for it was not often that they shared a kiss. When she pulled away he almost pouted, but figured he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing he enjoyed it. Sophie hurried back to the castle door. He watched her wistfully.

"Shall I take that as a yes?" he called after her. She turned and gave him a genuine smile.

"You shall have to try again, I'm afraid. That wasn't outlandish at all," she laughed. Howl felt his heart flutter as she went inside. Yes, he thought, things had resolved themselves quite nicely. And perhaps this he would admit to her. Pride be damned.

**Thanks again for reading! Let me know how I did. Reviews and constructive criticisms are always greatly appreciated.**

**UPDATE: I've recently written another piece to accompany this one, a continuation of sorts (though it could stand alone) called New Soul. So I'd greatly appreciate it if ya'll would go check that one out! Thanks again :)**


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